Angry, Angry Girl

Have you ever been so disappointed or angry that you just felt black inside? Some of you may have read my post yesterday (before I deleted it) about how excited I was to be getting transferred to a new position. Well, I called HR yesterday afternoon (they didn't call me, mind you...I had to call them.) to get the new details about when I could start (because I am hating-and when I say hating, I really really mean that-my current job), only to find that no one bothered to check my pay scale, and I make more money than the top end of the new position will allow. So no new job for Jennifer. I went all the way through the interview process - 2 interviews and a team lunch with the potential new team members. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I had to get away from my desk for a while. It was all I could do not to cry because I was so upset. I feel absolutely stuck in a job I can't stand. I am 100% vested in mid-March, so after that I may begin looking for something else. I'm trying to just get through until after the wedding. How do you not remember to do your basic job functions when you get a new candidate for a position? How do you not check to make sure that the salary range is a fit? How does this get missed? I'm a good employee. I work hard and lots of people choose to come to me when they run into an issue because they know I can help. But the one time I made a mistake a few weeks back, I got hung out to dry for it. This chick will skate on through with barely an "oops...sorry" and no one will say anything to her. Why? Because I can't make waves in the event something else ever opens up internally, I don't want to be known as "that girl". So I have to suck it up and just be okay with it. I'm not okay with it. I'm really not. I'm pissed off to an infinite degree. I know most of you will porbably tell me to quit whining and move on, and I will...eventually. But today I get to be pissed. Really, really pissed. And infinitely disappointed. I even find myself wondering if this is the karma I created. I work at the Food Bank, I collect food for needy people, I raise money for breast cancer, I try to be the best friend I know how to be and somehow the universe rips the rug out from under me. I really don't understand.

Don't worry. This is the only post dedicated to my whining. I'm done now.

I doubt I will have a chance to blog again for a few days. It's going to be busy. I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas, a happy Hannukah, and a safe and blessed new year. Next year is going to be a busy year with wonderful things to come. I'm getting married to a really amazing guy. I guess when I take a step back and look, my life is really good, and I am very thankful for all of my family and friends. Thanks to all of you who come by my little corner of the online world and take the time to see what I am up to.

Merry Christmas to everyone!