The Break Up

I decided to make a list of foods that I love that I need to "break up" with. You know, those foods that you can't enjoy in moderation, or you know have no real nutritional value and only serve to make you want more? Yeah, that stuff. So I am publicly declaring my breakup with the following:

1. cupcakes. This is just sad. I love them so very much, but even a bit will make me want a dozen. Thank God Society Bakery isn't close to me! Maybe one day cupcakes and I will have a reunion, but not for a long time. Let's face it: I can't handle it.

2. chocolate. I could get my woman card revoked for this, but it has to be done. People say to just have a small piece of dark chocolate. I can't do that. You have to buy a whole bag to get a small piece, and that just goes the wrong way for me.

3. Diet Coke. You try to fool me, but I'm onto you, Diet Coke! You say diet, but you are full of dangerous phosphates and LOTS of sodium. I've kicked you to the curb and there will be no reconciliation!

4. Paula Deen. Girl, I love you! I share your appreciation of mayonnaise and butter, but really? I just can't go there any more. You create such wonderful recipes, but I can't do it. I've tried to find ways to make them healthier, but I think it just isn't possible. Your corn casserole was so yummy at Thanksgiving, but it actually does call for a stick of butter. Oh Paula. It's not you, it's me.

5. 100 calorie snack packs. This little demon in a baggie is clever. He seduces me with the promise of chocolate and cookies but it's only 100 calories! That should be okay, right? WRONG! Calories come with friends like carbs, fat, and sodium...all of which show up in multitudes with these things. So yeah, if I need a snack pack I am heading for the grapes or oranges.


So that's it. I broke up with all those things and now I am moving on. See? When you have the bigger picture in mind, breaking up really isn't hard to do, contrary to any song lyrics that say otherwise.