Choices

I thought a lot about choices tonight. About how the choices we make affect more than we think they do. What made me think this? Watching "Losing It With Jillian Michaels" tonight. I should already know all this, but I got a great reminder this evening about how the decisions we make can make long term changes. I've chosen to go to school and work and these are choices I am glad I made. I have also chosen (in the past) to be lazy and eat things that have been terrible choices. Well here I am making new choices. I am choosing to be more active and to eat healthy. I am choosing to be a new me...one who isn't afraid to try things that seem scary (insert 1/2 marathon here). But most importantly, I am choosing the me I really want to be. I want to be the girl whose friends think she's off her rocker for trying to finish a race, or to one day climb a rock wall on a cruise ship or go rollerblading. I've never done any of those things. (Mostly because being overweight makes them very difficult.) But I'm going to do them!

But I also have to take this one step at a time. I have heard some dialogue in my head lately that I need to clean out. Somewhere I had decided that the only success in this 1/2 marathon is if I cross the finish line. I don't think that's so true any more. I think the success is stepping on the starting line and giving it my best. My best may run out at about 6 miles, but guess what? That's going to be okay. It means that I tried my hardest and 6 miles is what I could give. But trust me, I am going to be digging deep to try and finish. I really want to be able to cross that finish line and know I completed it. But if I don't I will know that I can try again next time. And be stronger and maybe even a little faster!

So tonight I have decided to choose something different...I choose to be positive when I talk to myself. I choose to allow myself to celebrate whatever my very best looks like...be it 6 miles, or only 1 pound this week, or whatever shape or form it is. My best IS good enough. And I know whatever I do, I will make sure I give my very best.